


it still shines like gold

by valkyrierising



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 23:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8867626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyrierising/pseuds/valkyrierising
Summary: Jyn brought hope back when he was so close to the end, ready to finish the mission. She was a reminder of everything that he had wanted to accomplish when he was recruited into the rebellion, the hope that you could bring when you helped people. Jyn, alone for far too long and defending herself, had forgotten what it was like to hope, to dream of something better where she wouldn’t have to survive like she did.





	

_Show me_

_the most damaged_

_parts of your soul_

_and I will show you_

_how it still shines like gold._

\- Nikita Gill

 

***

There is an alternate version of this reality where they do not die on this beach. Reality one is this: he maybe kisses Jyn, manages to recruit her into the rebellion, and sees something like a future with her. They resist the empire and double down on hope to spread onto others. This is reality one.

 

Reality two is this:  he dies in that tower and Jyn does not get out with the plans. Reality two is riskier, because the Director undoubtedly kills her because he is not there to have her back like he had earlier. As well, they are on Scarif on an Imperial base and their odds were always pretty much low to nonexistent. That mission was in vain but _somehow_ the plans get out - this is a constant in all of them. This maybe be a morbid reality he’s imagining, but running through the scenarios eases him as does the warm weight of Jyn’s hand in his as they sit on the beach shore.

 

Reality three is this: they managed to convince more than their party of thirty to carry out their suicide mission. Surely, he knows the odds (can even hear K2 recite it to him, never maliciously and always matter-of-factly) were always limited but at least here that was more men to cover them, more people that believed in her, in their odds (wishful hoping) like they did.

 

Reality four is this: they are rescued by another group before the Death Star hits, the plans in hand as a pair - an ache in his body seizes through him, cutting short the daydreaming. Jyn looks at him in concern, eyes sadder and shining at him, shuffling closer besides him so he could rest his weight on her.

 

She places his heads onto her shoulder, the weight of her other hand on his back holding him up as much as possible.

 

“Tell me a story,” he asks, the calm blue serenity of the ocean fading fast as dust eats it up. The fantasy wasn’t an escape so much as musing as what could have been. No one was under the impression that it would be easy, but they had hoped that the universe would be kinder to them for all that had happened. It was both fair and unfair, just and unjust, because he felt that they needed a win because while he was ready to die, and so was Jyn, that they deserved _more_.

 

Death in the arms of a beautiful woman, however, wasn’t a bad way to go, if he had to go now.

 

“Once there was a girl who was a supernova, just expansion of nothing as she waited for the end came by.” She begins, brushing hair back from his face. “She thought that there was nothing waiting for her in the greater infinite, ready to become another part of the nebulas.”

 

Jyn brought hope back when he was so close to the end, ready to finish the mission. She was a reminder of everything that he had wanted to accomplish when he was recruited into the rebellion, the hope that you could bring when you helped people. Jyn, alone for far too long and defending herself, had forgotten what it was like to hope, to dream of something better where she wouldn’t have to survive like she did.

 

“And then she met a boy, who helped put off the expansion into nothing, who reminded her that the collapse of a supernova was the inevitable conclusion to her life. And she asked ‘but why would I want to hurt?” and he answered ‘because you would create more stars from your death.’” Tears streamed down her face, feeling the sobs rack through her body. But she wasn’t crying in fear and neither was he, knew it was the beauty and the destruction that they were witnessing that was hitting her so hard. He pressed closer to her, willing for her to continue on without saying anything.

 

“And as the core of the supernova ran out, the supernova imagined the other stars that would appear after she expanded and exploded into the nebulas. And suddenly, everything meant more to the supernova because she could create new lives from her collapse and the cycle would be continued, as some would become supernovas and repeat. And the girl thanked the boy for telling her what happens after and it was wonderful,” she finishes.

 

His arm had slipped around hers in between the story, the proximity and the nearness familiar to them in their short lived comradery. She was magnetic and he was pulled into her orbit, a satellite to a moon. If only she knew how much he’d become fond of her so quickly.

 

There’s something calming at the rising horizon knowing their death was nigh. The important bit was that the plans were out there, ready to be used against the Empire and the other important bit was that he didn’t have regrets; he would live with them as he had through life but lighter than those past times.

 

She wasn’t absolution by any means. But her hope had rekindled his own, why he joined the rebellion in the first place. She made thirty men feel like three hundred, reminded a captain why he worked so hard to get there in the rebellion, that he feels that there was something serendipitous of the alliance of him and Jyn Erso.

 

“Stardust,” she says quietly, the wind and sea getting nearer and nearer. “Papa called me stardust because of my eyes when I was born, he told me once. And now we become stardust.”

 

He looks into her eyes, the hazel-green looking back at him with love. “It is beautiful.”

 

The destruction races towards them, the wind getting thinner and thinner but they are unafraid, happy that their sacrifice was not in vain.

 

“Thank you, Cassian,” she breathes into his hair, presses a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Thank you, Jyn,” he responds in kind, fully leaning into her as they let their destruction come over them. His hand in hers, the heat of her against his clammy skin pressed besides each other in the face of death felt right. He was glad that he got to know her, if only for a short time.

 


End file.
